Retirement Quotes features poetic, emotional, and heartfelt wordings and your wishes on this special day must be unique, special, and sweet so that they are capable of conveying your exact feelings. By sending these quotes and wishes, you can congratulate your dad for completing the tough phase of the journey of his life and make him feel positive and relaxed regarding the retirement so that he does not become sentimental.
1. Reality called, so I hung up.
2. I don’t sweat—I sparkle.
3. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
4. My prince is not coming on a white horse… he’s obviously riding a turtle somewhere, really confused.
5. Friday, my second favorite F word.
6. Wine + dinner = winner
7. I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive!
8. Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.
9. If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
10. They say: Do what you love and the money will come to you. Just ordered pizza, now I am waiting…
11. For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
12. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.
13. When nothing goes right, go left.
14. A cop pulled me over and told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off.
15. Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity!
16. Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
17. Did it for the memories – totally worth it!
18. I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
19. When Jessica Biel becomes pregnant, I hope she names her child “Mo”.
20. Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
21. I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box… I don’t even know where the box is.
22. Do I run? Yes… Out of time, patients and money.
23. WE DON’T MAKE FRIENDS, WE RECOGNIZE THEM!
24. A FRIEND IS A SECOND SELF.
25. A TRUE FRIEND IS ONE WHO OVERLOOKS YOUR FAILURES AND TOLERATES YOUR SUCCESS!
26. A TRUE FRIEND STABS YOU IN THE FRONT.
27. A FRIEND CAN TELL YOU THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO TELL YOURSELF.
28. IT IS THE PRIVILEGE OF FRIENDSHIP TO TALK NONSENSE, AND HAVE HER NONSENSE RESPECTED.
29. FRIENDS SHOULD ALWAYS TELL YOU THE TRUTH. BUT PLEASE DON’T.
30. WHEN A WOMAN BECOMES HER OWN BEST FRIEND, LIFE IS EASIER.
Whenever we arrange a get-together party or even meet our friends, we always take memorable pictures especially selfies with each other and have great fun so while we are uploading those photos on Instagram, we express our thoughts and emotions also by using hashtags and captions. So to make your Instagram profile updated and fun to visit for friends, you can share some Funny Instagram Captions for Friends over there along with these funny captions.
31. LOVE THE PEOPLE YOU CAN BE WEIRD WITH.
32. IF YOU HAVE TWO FRIENDS IN YOUR LIFETIME, YOU’RE LUCKY. IF YOU HAVE ONE GOOD FRIEND, YOU’RE MORE THAN LUCKY.
33. FRIENDS SHOULD BE LIKE BOOKS, FEW, BUT HAND-SELECTED.
34. FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE MONEY, EASIER MADE THAN KEPT.
35. SOME PEOPLE TALK TO YOU IN THEIR FREE TIME AND SOME PEOPLE FREE THEIR TIME TO TALK TO YOU.
36. A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND TO BE AVOIDED.
37. THE LANGUAGE OF FRIENDSHIP IS NOT WORDS BUT MEANINGS.
38. ME AND MY BEST FRIEND CAN COMMUNICATE JUST WITH FACE EXPRESSIONS.
39. It’s too “a.m.” for me.
40. Kinda classy, kinda hood.
41. May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner even.
42. I like long romantic walks down every aisle at Target.
43. I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
44. Confidence level: Kanye West.
45. I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
46. Who needs self-awareness when I can make you aware of me instead?
47. Only dead fish go with the flow.
48. …Moonwalks out of an awkward situation.
49. A FRIEND DOESN’T GO ON A DIET BECAUSE YOU ARE FAT.
50. THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A FRIEND, UNLESS IT IS A FRIEND WITH CHOCOLATE.
51. BESIDES CHOCOLATE, YOU’RE MY FAVORITE.
52. COFFEE AND FRIENDS MAKE THE PERFECT BLEND.
53. FRIENDS ARE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS IN THE COOKIE OF LIFE.
54. WE GO TOGETHER LIKE COFFEE & DONUTS.
55. WE GO TOGETHER LIKE CUPCAKES & FROSTING.
56. OUR FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE A CUP OF TEA…A SPECIAL BLEND OF YOU AND ME!
57. A GOOD FRIEND IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES…SWEET, NUTTY, & A GOOD REMEDY FOR A BAD DAY!
58. YOU’RE THE CHEESE TO MY MACARONI.
59. I LOVE YOU LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE.
60. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I DON’T MIND SHARING MY COKE BOTTLE WITH.
61. I LOVE PEOPLE I CAN BE CRAZY WITH.
62. YOU’RE WEIRD. I LIKE YOU.
63. SOMETIMES BEING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ALL THE THERAPY YOU NEED.
64. NEVER LET YOUR BEST FRIENDS GET LONELY..KEEP DISTURBING THEM..!!
65. Even I don’t believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in five minutes.
66. It’s okay to be a glow stick; sometimes we need to break before we shine.
67. I like big cups and I cannot lie.
68. I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
69. Don’t let anyone tell you that you wear too much black.
70. How I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso.
71. Out of the way, world. I’ve got my sassy pants on today.
Funny Instagram Captions can be short, funny, weird, odd, and even awesome but there is always an interesting and special story behind those smiling faces of you and your friends together that your followers or other Instagram friends would love to know.